Hi. I’m Lauren. I’m the strong female lead in that Applebee’s commercial you’re watching.
The cute blonde one? With the apron? Yeah! That’s me!
I know. I know. You can’t see my face or anything, but you should know that I delivered that food to the table without a smile.
The whole process was actually really empowering.
Those ribs I served? They were super saucy and hot. Just like me.
Well… because… they were me.
Those were my actual ribs.
I cut em out and put em right on the plate!
Because I’m not a derivative of man !!! No rib of Adam’s!!!
I’m my own frikken person!!!
I’m a strong female lead!!!
Yes that was a biblical reference. A reclamation of the trope if you will.
You want a side of fries with that closed-mindedness?
No, the fries are not from my body.
Not everything is about my body!!!!! God!!!!! What is wrong with society!?!