Airbnb Listing For My Vagina

by Polly Duff

Charming and Cozy Oasis in the Heart of Brooklyn
1 guest

Sparkling Clean
4 recent guests said this place was sparkling clean.

Polly is a Superhost
Superhosts are experienced, highly rated hosts who are committed to providing great stays.

Verified
-Free of HPV, history of sex addiction, and daddy issues.
-Curtains match the drapes.

The space
Sprawling surroundings of dense forests with seasonal landscape features. The interior space features all the comforts of home and many quirky details. Planned upgrades include a large, newly renovated chef’s kitchen with a Subzero fridge and Thermador stove and labiaplasty. 

Guest Access
Guests have access to the surrounding erogenous area, the interior space, and more (with the host’s consent)!

Other Things to Note
Please note, this is a 35-year-old vagina. It has delivered two babies and seen some wear and tear (second degree tearing and cracked coccyx), but it has been well-maintained, and it is in excellent shape. That being said, please be extremely gentle (but not too gentle). Excessive use can cause the well to run dry, but please only use provided lube, as the host uses only artisanal, wild-harvested, free-trade products, and certain normy, chemical-based lubricants have caused rashes. We do our best to stock inclusive, hypoallergenic prophylactic products. Please bring your own (latex- and BPA-free) dental dams, just in case you plan on sampling from the biscuit box. Discounts offered for long-term stays. For celebrations, contact the host about bedazzling and novelty merkin options.

Amenities

Essentials
-Towels, bed sheets, soap, and toilet paper

Facilities
-Free parking near premises

Dining
-Oil, salt, and pepper

Guest access
-Check yourself in with a safe word

Safety features
-Plan B

Available upon request
-Vibrating anal beads, vampire gloves, suction cylinder, and black leather fraternity paddle

Not Included
-Wi-fi
-Rear entry

Reviews

Adam (April, 2011)
Great vagina, very relaxing. I had a wonderful time. Polly is a great host, very communicative and trusting.

Dave (July, 2010)
Cozy, sweet little getaway. It seemed like there were some ingrown hairs out front, and I noticed a garlicky weed smell upon entry, but overall, I enjoyed an invigorating stay. And I found a weed pen inside, which explained the smell, and was an enjoyable post-coital bonus!

Justin (June, 2009)
Comfortably accommodated me and my small bachelor party of six of my closest friends from college. Photos don’t do it justice. #justintime2009

Melissa (February, 2007)
I loved my visit to Polly’s funky, shabby chic vagina! The weather was rainy and cold, but there were plenty of games to keep us busy, and I was pleasantly surprised that this vagina came with a bottle of wine. Hope to return in summer to see the landscaping in full bloom.

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