Little Jack Horner
Little Jack Horner
Sat in the corner,
Eating a Christmas pie;
He looked at the room,
Silent as a tomb,
And cried, “What a sad boy am I!”
Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary
Mary, Mary, quite contrary
How anti-vax are you?
With trending tweets and lunacies
And R-naught very close to 2.
Little Miss Muffet
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet,
Sipping her soy latte;
A nice anti-masker
Just sat down beside her,
And frightened Miss Muffet away.
Jack be Nimble
Jack be nimble,
Jack be free,
Jack cut in front
Of Phase 1c.
Humpty Dumpty
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great bawl;
All the king’s AAs and all the king’s shrinks
Couldn’t get Humpty to give up his drinks.
Jack and Jill
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To get away from downtown.
Jill felt bad but knew she had
To dump Jack before lockdown.
Hickory, Dickory, Dock
Hickory, dickory, dock,
I’m on my daily walk;
But where’s my mask?
Fuck, where’s my mask?!
Hickory, dickory, dock.
This Little Piggy
This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed home,
This little piggy had a high-risk condition,
This little piggy had none.
This little piggy went…
Wee, wee, wee,
to the ER!
Yankee Doodle
Yankee Doodle went to town,
A-Driving his Corolla
Got himself curbside pickup
And called it eating out, yeah!
There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn’t know what to do.
She put them on Zoom, like the school said;
And cursed them all quietly, with a sense of dread.
