Ten Realistic Thanksgiving Haikus

Happy Thanksgiving!
Time for football and turkey
and family fights.

Great to go back home,
where I spent near eighteen years
plotting my escape.

“Everyone should say
what they’re thankful for this year.
Or not, I don’t know.”

Three days off from work! 
Oh shit, give me one second.
My boss is calling.

The pardoned turkeys 
must spend the rest of their year 
deeply traumatized.

Dad just keeps talking, 
as we all think to ourselves, 
please don’t start a fight.

Can you pass some pie?
And hold the commentary. 

“That wasn’t so bad,” 
My husband lies when we leave.
It was terrible.

Was the whole dinner
worth it for the leftovers?
Definitely not.

At least with Christmas, 
family time comes with gifts. 
For that, I’m thankful.

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