Musical accompaniment: Mozart, “Les Petits Riens.”

The first time you love, chances you’ll
be choosing someone who’s a fool;
when young, it’s rather hard to love
since screwing’s what we most think of.
We get confused with those hormones
and stuff nobody smart condones;
we go for cute abs and round butts
because, I dare say, Cupid’s nuts.

The next time you love, think long term
and run love like a business firm;
there’s assets, holdings and bills due —
and don’t forget there’s children, too.
It’s said sometimes the passion wanes
and we get tempted to change lanes;
the quick way to make marriage dead
is watch TV when you’re in bed.

The next time you love, libido
will pro’bly be somewhat fallow;
do what you can to get enhanced,
but most love-making’s refinanced.
And if you make diff’rent amounts,
I’d go with sep’rate bank accounts;
but if money’s all you speak of,
then chances are, it’s not true love.

The last time that you love, it will
be obvious loving’s a skill;
we all concede acknowledgments
most romance is mostly nonsense.
If you can stand each other, then
you’ve done alright, nine out of ten;
to share a life, the joys and aches,
will teach us to love our mistakes.