Editing and copy editing skills (we don’t know the difference) are preferable 

Who are we?

Hello Upwork freelancers! We’re what you call a content creation company. We don’t write the content, we simply hire freelancers on Upwork for a fraction of the price it should cost. A big inside joke in our company is, “Don’t work with us if you need to pay rent!” Or groceries, or bills — none of that. You could certainly buy a Big Mac, though. Definitely a Happy Meal — “Have it your way!” Oh shit, that’s Burger King. Nevermind.

Who are you?

An expert writer, editor, proofreader, copy editor, copywriter, researcher, data analyst, self-starting Mark Twain quality wordsmith who hits deadlines like John Wick aiming for Russian mobsters. It’s okay if you’re just starting out in your career but a PhD in the “Science” stuff, an MD in medicine or head stuff, a chemist (not the underground kind), an MBA in at least business, have a legit law degree or even better — you’re a practicing lawyer, or a full-time working journalist by the name of Dan Rather or Gwen Ifill’s ghost, are all highly preferable. A plus if you’ve published a book with Random House, Simon & Schuster, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, or whatever, and have gone quadruple platinum.

Job requirements in no specific order:

You must provide clean copy free of typos and grammer mistakes You will be expected to use Grammerly to check your work, even though we didnt use it to write this job posting. In fact, as part of your proposal, rewrite this paragraph without any mistakes and in the stile of William FaulknerYou’re writing must be original and creative We also have a strict policy against plagiarism and use of AI. though we fed this into ChatGPT, which plagiarized 300,031 similar postings, we couldn’t be fucked to actually write an original job posting because that’s not out job — it’s yours.

Also, don’t be repetitive. There is nothing worse than having to read the same thing twice. Or read the same thing in different words. That especially goes for similar things that have slightly different meanings but basically say what the thing it said before.

You must be:

• Detail-oriented: because every other job posting asks for that.
• A great time-manager who manages their time effectively and doesn’t spend their day languishing on social media until they toss their phone into a corner disgusted with the state of the world and depressed by everyone living their best life while they can’t seem to figure it out. Then eat an edible because fuck it, you can just finish this work tomorrow — you’ll totally wake up early and knock it out. But oh no! That wasn’t a 5mg gummy, it was actually 100, and now you’re crying under the covers.
• Motivated (see last bullet point).
• An exquisite story-teller.
• A wordsmith.
• Wait? Did we already say “wordsmith”? Well, it bears repeating. Wordsmithing, wordsmith, wordsmithster, wordsmiter…You know, if you say it too many times, it starts to sound weird. But be good at it. Especially the smiting part.
• Above all, you must be open to feedback. While we don’t have any staff writers or editors here, which is why we’re on Upwork, we want you to grow in this position and believe our non-expert, corporate feedback will ultimately help you improve a craft we couldn’t be bothered to learn.

In this role, you will:

• Do your own research, only using high domain authority websites. Don’t know what those are? We don’t either but ChatGPT put it in here.
• Use at least 10–50 sources and cite them in APA style. In blood.
• Do the Macarena in between each round of edits.
• And it goes without saying that you must edit and proofread your work before turning it in because no one here is going to check it. But if we publish your work and find a mistake, we will summon a demon to track you down and consume your immortal soul.

Job Description

• Write ten 4000 word articles every week. We will provide outlines (see next bullet point). 
• First article subject: Earth; subheadings: things that happen on or pertain to Earth.

For this job, we are offering $35/article. We request that you write an unpaid trial article to see if we’ll be a good fit. We have a lot of content needs so this can lead to more work for the right candidate. Looking forward to seeing your proposals!