Emails With Customer Service For A Period Tracking App After Facebook Starts Advertising Maternity Pants To Me

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From: Claire Hanson
To: Brad Farber, Customer Experience Rep, MoonGlow 

Hi there. I just found out that your period tracker app sent my personal information to Facebook without my permission. This is a terrible violation of privacy. What can I do to make sure no more private information is shared?

From: Brad

Hi Claire! Thanks for downloading the MoonGlow Period Tracker App. We’re proud to empower women by helping them take charge of their health. We’re sorry to hear you aren’t having the most empowering experience. 

Claire, we want you to know that we take your privacy very seriously. So seriously that we’ve detailed our extensive thoughts about it in an 8,000-word privacy policy that’s conveniently located only four clicks away from the account creation page. You can find the information you’re looking for there.

From: Claire

Listen, Brad, I’ve read your privacy policy and it doesn’t explicitly say that you share data with Facebook or explain how to opt out. You should make it clear when people enter their sensitive health information. 

From: Brad

Claire, thanks for your feedback. At MoonGlow we want to create an amazing experience for our users. I can see from your account history that you’re expecting your period tomorrow. Perhaps we should discuss this next week when you’re feeling better?

From: Claire

Um, I’m feeling fine, Brad. Just tell me how I can prevent sensitive medical information from being shared.

From: Brad

Hi Claire! Glad to hear you’re feeling great.

Just want to triple check before I take any action. We can, of course, delete your personal information, but, remember, the MoonGlow Period Tracker app is a fantastic way to take control of your reproductive health and family planning. I see that you’re single right now, but I know you’re going to find someone special soon, Claire, and you’ll want to be ready! What do you say? 

From: Claire

I say…delete my account.

From: Brad

Claire, I’m also seeing that you’ve clicked on quite a number of our in-app advertisements, including one for baby strollers. I’ve got to say, I feel like I’m getting some mixed messages from you, Claire. Can you please confirm what action you’d like to take? Remember, I’m not a mind reader!

From: Claire

OK, Brad, how’s this for clear? Fuck off and delete my account. 

From: Brad

Claire, I hear you loud and clear. You’re saying you’re not happy with the baby stroller ads. I care about your well-being so I’ve gone ahead and changed your advertising preferences to “Fitness and Dieting” so you won’t see any more ads about pregnancy or parenting. As a special bonus, I’ve also sent your health history over to one of our amazing fertility clinic partners, because I see that may be an issue. You should be hearing from Kevin at the Lotus Flower Women’s Center about a free consult shortly.

Thanks for using MoonGlow!

From: Claire

Jesus Christ, Brad. UNDO THAT SHIT. 

From: Brad

Claire, is cost an issue? Are you familiar with our enterprise model where your employer can contribute to the costs in exchange for information about whether you’re trying to get pregnant?

From: Brad

Claire? Are you still there?

From: Brad

Claire?

One comment

  1. How swell to be sitting at a computer laughing. Nailed it. Claire, I think I just heard your story on some TV talk show this week. Of course, you were not invited to comment. Good luck with that.

    Liked by 1 person

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