List: 24 Plans You Can Make While You’re Waiting To Find Out If You’re Moving Halfway Across The Country For Work

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  • Plan first dates with people you absolutely aren’t attracted to
  • Browse Zillow and make a list of apartments that will definitely be unavailable by the time you move
  • Get really into meal prepping but then leave all your meal-prepped lunches at home and spend $20 at Sweetgreen instead because you’re not sure they even have Sweetgreen in that other city you might be moving to
  • Feel guilty about spending so much money at Sweetgreen and start budgeting
  • Immediately stop budgeting when you realize how much money you spend on La Croix
  • See a movie in theaters alone because that’s the kind of thing you’ll have to do a lot of if you move halfway across the country
  • Tell everyone you’re leaving
  • Tell no one you’re leaving
  • Start keeping a daily journal but stop when it gets too depressing (after approx. three days)
  • Drink heavily
  • Quit drinking
  • Start drinking again
  • Plan a going away party you have no intention of throwing yourself
  • “Accidentally” forward your going away party plans to your roommates in the hopes they’ll throw the party for you
  • Set up listening devices in the living room so you can catch your roommates planning your going away party for you
  • Sob into your pillow when you realize they never even opened the email from you
  • Scream at the B&H employee when they insist you can’t return open-box surveillance equipment
  • Start a highly restrictive diet so you’ll look great when you arrive in whatever city you wind up moving to
  • Quit your highly restrictive diet and eat an entire pint of Talenti Gelato every day for a week
  • Take up running
  • Quit running
  • Try to cancel your gym membership
  • Realize you can never move to another city because there’s literally no way to cancel this gym membership
  • Re-sign your lease

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