- Plan first dates with people you absolutely aren’t attracted to
- Browse Zillow and make a list of apartments that will definitely be unavailable by the time you move
- Get really into meal prepping but then leave all your meal-prepped lunches at home and spend $20 at Sweetgreen instead because you’re not sure they even have Sweetgreen in that other city you might be moving to
- Feel guilty about spending so much money at Sweetgreen and start budgeting
- Immediately stop budgeting when you realize how much money you spend on La Croix
- See a movie in theaters alone because that’s the kind of thing you’ll have to do a lot of if you move halfway across the country
- Tell everyone you’re leaving
- Tell no one you’re leaving
- Start keeping a daily journal but stop when it gets too depressing (after approx. three days)
- Drink heavily
- Quit drinking
- Start drinking again
- Plan a going away party you have no intention of throwing yourself
- “Accidentally” forward your going away party plans to your roommates in the hopes they’ll throw the party for you
- Set up listening devices in the living room so you can catch your roommates planning your going away party for you
- Sob into your pillow when you realize they never even opened the email from you
- Scream at the B&H employee when they insist you can’t return open-box surveillance equipment
- Start a highly restrictive diet so you’ll look great when you arrive in whatever city you wind up moving to
- Quit your highly restrictive diet and eat an entire pint of Talenti Gelato every day for a week
- Take up running
- Quit running
- Try to cancel your gym membership
- Realize you can never move to another city because there’s literally no way to cancel this gym membership
- Re-sign your lease
Little Old Lady Comedy 
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