Harvard Admissions Board
RE: Your Admissions Essay
Dear Mr. Smith,
We want to congratulate you on your acceptance to Harvard University. I speak for everyone on the admissions board in saying that your admissions essay “List of my top 10 favorite Movies” was illuminating. It gave us the sense that you belong here and that you will do great things in your life.
First off, we want to thank you for not including as single Wes Anderson movie on your list. Do you know how many people we get applying to Harvard that rank The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou or Rushmore as their favorite movie? This isn’t Berkeley. We want people who are serious about their studies.
Your list was so brave and unique. For example, we loved that The Godfather Part II was ranked #10 on your list (extremely controversial ranking). Most people consider this movie the greatest movie ever, but your willingness to listen to your inner voice is truly inspiring. You’re not afraid to be different, and that’s what we want here at Harvard.
Being unique isn’t everything, though. We needed your essay to show us you were smart enough to handle the coursework and that you genuinely are Harvard material. And that was evidenced by the plethora of Terrance Malick, Charlie Kauffman, and Christopher Nolan movies in your rankings. It is a known fact that if you don’t like Momento (#3), Being John Malkovich (#7), or Tree of Life (#4), you’re dumb as shit. You having these movies ranked so highly gave us a clear signal that you are, in fact, a genius. Also, it doesn’t hurt that Terrance Malick is part of our extremely distinguished alumni.
We like our students to be well rounded, and you clearly showed us your sensitive side by having two different romantic comedies in your top ten. Most people will have one guilty please movie, (500 Days) of Summer (#5), but the fact that you also had 1995’s masterpiece Clueless (#2) made you stand above the crowd. Only a man truly in touch with his feelings would like two of this genre of movie.
In a truly inspired moment of genius, you had Seven Samurai (#1), The Magnificent Seven (#9), and The Magnificent Seven 2016 remake (#6) all on your list. This tells us three things. You know what you like, you dream of standing up for the little guy, and your love the number 7. These are all commendable qualities, and we are happy to reward you with admission to Harvard.
Finally, we were excited that you put the movie you stared in with your dad on the list: The Pursuit of Happyness (#8). We loved that movie as well. We are looking forward to you and your famous parents visiting campus so that we can discuss your attendance here in the fall.
The Harvard Admissions Board