60 Questions Kamala Harris Must Answer Before Earning Our Vote For Lady Vice President

We are men, and we have questions.
Photo by Geron Disonon Unsplash

Kamala Harris was picked to be Joe Biden’s VP 42 days ago. There are 41 days until the election. She has not formally taken questions from the press a single time.

Conservative commentator Dinesh D’Souza, Instagram, 09/23/20

That’s inaccurate. Harris has made numerous media appearances and interviews since the Aug. 11 announcement. We rate this Instagram post False.

Politifact, 09/25/20

Before we could even consider voting for a person with fallopian tubes, we have so, so many more questions that we need answered.

The Conservative Patriarchy, Always
  1. Do you worry about whether you’re electable?
  2. Have you considered pretending that you don’t even want the silly job, so you don’t seem overly ambitious?
  3. How about sweetening your voice and maybe taking it up an octave, so you’d be more likeable?
  4. Do people ever say you’re a little bit feisty, grrrr?
  5. You’re really a ballbuster, aren’t you?
  6. Do you regret not having children of your own?
  7. Does it make you sad that you will never have grandchildren?
  8. As a barren person, how do you empathize with women who are mothers?
  9. As a woman, do you empathize too much with women who illegally cross into the U.S. with their children?
  10. What happened anyway — an inhospitable womb or did your biological clock just explode?
  11. What’s it like being a stepmother?
  12. Who is taking care of your stepchildren while you’re on the campaign trail?
  13. And if you win, who will take care of your adult stepchildren?
  14. Is it weird to have stepchildren who didn’t suckle at your breast?
  15. Do you long to have your breasts suckled?
  16. Are your stepdaughters jealous of you for swooping in on their daddy
  17. How about Jill — she’s jealous of you, isn’t she?
  18. Doesn’t it bother Jill that you’re running all around the country with her husband?
  19. How do you manage to keep your slender figure when you’re busy running around the country with Jill’s husband?
  20. Has Jill ever caught Joe ogling your sexy little figure?
  21. Do you think of Doug as your soulmate?
  22. Why did you wait until you were almost dead to finally get married?
  23. Does it make Doug nervous to have you out there all alone on the campaign trail?
  24. How will you keep it spicy in the bedroom once you’re Vice President?
  25. Let’s say you’re at a summit meeting and Doug calls and tells you he is lonely and needs company. He asks you to come home immediately, wearing a pink silk teddy. Do you stay and negotiate the peace treaty, or go home where you’re needed?
  26. Are you as nice as you seem?
  27. Do people ever tell you that you’re too nice?
  28. Let’s say a world leader gives you a present that you do not like. Would you thank him for the gift, even though you did not like it, or give him the spanking that he so deserves?
  29. Does it bother you that President Trump called you nasty?
  30. Are you? A nasty, nasty girl?
  31. Why again didn’t you birth children?
  32. Would you still consider birthing a child now?
  33. How about surrogacy, because that’s an option for older women these days?
  34. International adoption, from somewhere other than China, Russia or a shithole country, maybe?
  35. Would you allow your daughter to be in a beauty pageant — if you had a daughter, that is?
  36. Do you feel that you owe Joe Biden an apology?
  37. Why won’t you apologize for having prosecuted people when you were a prosecutor?
  38. When you apologized for saying “well said” after the voter called Trump “mentally retarded,” did you also curtsey?
  39. Are you so, so sorry that you have ovaries?
  40. Remind me again — why haven’t you used those ovaries?
  41. Do you ever think your life would be easier if you were a man?
  42. Let’s say you could pee without having to lift your skirt and pull down your pantyhose, would that be easier?
  43. What if you’re at a state dinner with swoony Prime Minister Macron, and out of nowhere, you realize that you need menstrual product. How would you handle that?
  44. Won’t the fact that you menstruate make you seem weak?
  45. Wait, do you still menstruate?
  46. Do you worry that men will be reluctant to vote for a woman who refused to take her husband’s last name?
  47. Do you agree that women worry too much?
  48. Do you like men to be chivalrous, or does that make you uncomfortable?
  49. Should a man still get the door for you? Or should he slam it into your breasts as you’re passing through?
  50. How will your husband keep his dick hard when you have all that power?
  51. Should people worry about a hormonal woman having the nuclear codes?
  52. What if you find out that there’s a nuclear bomb headed toward us, and you have 10 seconds to decide whether to retaliate, but it’s your time of the month and you’re feeling a little bit crampy. Who do you yell at?
  53. What if, as Commander in Chief, you give an order to the military brass, but they don’t like to take orders from women and refuse to do what you ask them. Would you spank them if they asked nicely?
  54. What if you start feeling like no one takes you seriously because you’re a woman, so you decide to bind your breasts and buzz cut your hair. Do you think people would take you more or less seriously, if you still showed a little leg?
  55. C’mon, will you show us a little leg, just for fun?
  56. With no role model, how do you decide what you should wear on the stump?
  57. Do you find that Chuck Taylors and Timberlands are more or less comfortable than pumps with a sensible kitten heel?
  58. What are you wearing to the debates?
  59. But what are you wearing under what you are wearing?
  60. Do you worry your nipples will get perky on the debate stage? Because they might.

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