POTUS Pet Tally Spikes

In an unscheduled press conference with the White House press corps, White House press secretary Jen Psaki shared that President Joe Biden and First Lady Jill Biden would be visiting a local animal shelter on Christmas Eve to adopt a yet-to-be-selected/vetted rescue dog.

The news of another presidential pet came as a surprise given that earlier this week President Biden tweeted that the family had welcomed “the newest Biden” – an adorable purebred German shepherd puppy named Commander.

It was previously announced that the Bidens plan to welcome a cat, who is currently residing with a foster family, to the White House in January.

“True to their everyman and everywoman roots, the First Family loves cute animals and what better way to celebrate this magical season than to welcome some into the People’s House,” Psaki explained.

Given an opportunity to pose questions, Fox News White House Correspondent Peter Doocy demanded an explanation for the apparent nationwide shortage of Covid tests in the wake of the Omicron variant.

“And speaking of holidays…” replied the presidential point person while snatching away a nearby blanket to reveal a birdcage containing two turtle doves. “Please join me in welcoming the First Family’s feathered additions Frankincense and Myrrh!”

Some in the press corps asked the WH spokesperson if the flurry of furry additions was an attempt to distract from criticism of the administration’s Covid response, the ongoing supply chain woes and increasing inflation.

“Absolutely not. And if the supply chain is really that sluggish, how was POTUS able to bring Mr. Potter from that magnificent swing state Wisconsin all the way to Washington overnight?” said the safari-jacketed press secretary before lifting from behind her dais a cuddly pot-bellied pig donned in a tiny business suit costume complete with top hat.

“Awwwwwww,” cooed the enchanted press corps in response.

“Like Americans everywhere, the President and First Lady cherish the American classic It’s a Wonderful Life,” gushed the senior spox. “They wanted to honor its essential part of our holiday cultural fabric and what better way than naming this wittle [sic] bundle of pweasure [sic] after a pivotal character from the film?”

Psaki deflected when asked if Americans should expect additional animal-related diversions, offering: “All I can say is watch this menagerie – er I mean space.” She then invited the reporters to a post-presser reception featuring eggnog made from the milk of Jingle Belle, a Jersey cow now residing in the White House Rose Garden.

Before departing her podium, Psaki also announced a surprising holiday season staff shake-up. Current Chief of Staff and longtime Biden confidante Ron Klain will be stepping down from his current position to take on a new, unspecified role. Klain will be replaced by television personality and zookeeper Bindi Irwin.

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