Cats’ Academy

Musical accompaniment: Mozart, Allegro in F [composed age 5].

Illustration: Louis Wain (1912)

The students here will not adhere 
who knows even if they’ll appear;
there’s very little discipline
‘cause they rarely ever listen.

There’s Charlie who will fall asleep —
his reading isn’t very deep;
and Rosie will just walk away
if you’ve got boring things to say.

Now, Maggie is all attitude
since hissing’s how she’s understood;
and lecturing Belle won’t get far
since she’ll just hide under a car.

Supposedly, cats are quite smart,
depending how you grade the chart;
but educating them will not
be quick, ‘cause nothing sticks we taught.

We need a lot of kitty treats
to simply keep ‘em in their seats;
they get a little restless when
expected to count up to ten.

Now, dogs will do whatever you
wish them, they have such scant purview;
but cats obey their own caprice
and they won’t work for the police.

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