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Ban the use of “Unless you’re God or George Strait, take off your boots” wooden signs in homes. Same goes for oversized bejeweled wooden crosses.
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Outlaw the sale of Mary Kay Cosmetics at events where “all the girls will be!”
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If you share a recipe video on Facebook, you’re legally required to make that recipe.
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Gossip tax on any woman who criticizes their best friend Henrietta’s new 3rd husband.
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Turn all toy poodles into full poodles.
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Pro-tupperware parties, but none of the lids match the bottoms.
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Loud jewelry needs to be quiet.
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Marshalls store hours cut in half on Black Friday.
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Church outfit compliments cease to exist.
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Those toy poodles that became full poodles? They’re rescued pit bulls now.
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End House Hunters episodes before you find out which house they picked.
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Make hair spray and butter illegal.