All The Times I Have Walked Out In The Middle Of An Interview With Terry Gross

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  • When Terry Gross asked me if I had emptied the dishwasher before leaving the apartment this morning.
  • Shortly after farting in the recording booth, but before Terry Gross could smelt who dealt it.
  • The very moment Terry Gross dared to question my credentials as a Gryffindor.
  • Approximately five hours after being asked to leave by Terry Gross.
  • Immediately after learning that the short bald man interviewing me wasn’t Terry Gross at all.
  • 12 seconds into a question from Terry Gross about my work as promoter for the Fyre Festival.
  • On a blind date with Terry Gross in 1973 when I learned that the Mets had lost the World Series.
  • Not long after flipping over the chair and screaming, “No, Terry Gross, you’re the father!”
  • Casually, after mentioning to Terry Gross that I once met Mark Ruffalo.
  • Three days after taking Terry Gross hostage in the recoding booth.
  • As soon as I realized that Terry Gross was the woman who cut me in the Trader Joe’s checkout line yesterday.
  • With a ridiculous amount of deference considering how rude Terry Gross is.

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